Managing My Energy with Spoon Theory: How I Make It Through Work, Meetings, and the Dad Taxi Shift

Have you ever reached the end of the day and felt completely depleted, even though there’s still a to-do list staring back at you?

That’s me, and it happens way more often than I’d like to admit. I work remotely in a busy and fast-paced leadership role, leading a UK-wide neurodiversity service, and also juggle life as a dad and husband, which includes everything from trying to keep two young people fed, entertained and clean to being a full-time taxi driver to various after-school hobbies.

It’s a lot! And over time, I’ve started to realise that managing my energy is just as important as managing my time, and that is where 'spoon theory' comes in for me.

For anyone unfamiliar with the concept, the spoon theory is a metaphor used to describe the finite amount of energy a person has each day. The idea is that you start the day with a set number of “spoons”, and every task, no matter how small, costs one or more spoons. When your spoons are gone, they’re gone. There’s no magical recharge button.

It was originally developed by Christine Miserandino to describe the experience of living with chronic illness, but it’s been widely adopted by people who live with neurodivergent conditions like ADHD, autism, and anxiety and for good reason. It’s a really helpful way to explain energy management in a world that often expects us to be “on” all the time.

How I use spoon theory in real life

In my world, spoon theory helps me plan both my day and my week. Here’s how I apply it:

• Meetings: I love collaborating, but meetings can be draining, especially back-to-back video calls where there’s little time to pause and reflect. On days when my diary is packed from 9 to 5 with meetings, I often find myself completely depleted by the afternoon, struggling to concentrate and getting irritable or overwhelmed by even the smallest of tasks. The quality of my thinking drops, and by the time I finish work, I’m running on empty for family life too, which can hugely impact my family and my wife. The consequences of not managing this properly can stack up everywhere – missed deadlines, brain fog, emotional fatigue, and ultimately burnout. I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that I have to leave space between meetings and give myself recovery time.

• Deep work: Writing reports, planning strategy, or reviewing data all need more spoons than I used to admit. I can problem-solve quickly, but I need protected time to really think. I now flag tasks in my diary that require high-energy input so I can plan them for the right part of the day, not when I’m spoonless and scrambling to catch up.

• Movement as medicine: One of the best ways I’ve found to replenish my energy is movement. I try to get at least an hour of gentle walking in each day on my walking pad, usually while catching up on emails or Teams messages. It makes a huge difference to my focus, mood, and energy levels. Movement is often the reset button I need to reclaim a few extra spoons mid-afternoon.

• Parenting life: From the school runs, the forgotten PE kit, the hospital appointments, driving to and from football training and matches to sitting in the car park and replying to emails, the emotional and physical labour of parenting is real and it costs spoons. I’ve started acknowledging that it’s okay to feel tired after a weekend of “downtime” if that downtime was just a different kind of work.

• Saying no: Spoon theory has given me the language to say no without guilt. If I don’t have enough spoons, I don’t stretch myself thinner – I simply explain, reframe, and reschedule. I’ve learned the hard way that pushing through usually ends up costing tomorrow’s spoons, too.

Making workplaces more ‘spoon-aware’

I often think about how we can bring these concepts into the workplace more openly. We need to make space for neurodivergent ways of working, where breaks aren’t seen as laziness, where processing time is respected, and where flexibility is built-in, not just granted on request.

Spoon theory helps me advocate for myself and for others. It allows for a compassionate, human-centred view of energy and productivity. Whether you’re neurodivergent or not, it’s a great tool for understanding that not all tasks are equal, and not all days are created the same.

Some days I have 12 spoons. Some days I have 4. And that’s okay, as long as I use them wisely.

If you use spoon theory too, or another method to manage your energy, I’d love to hear how it helps you navigate and juggle the working week.

First published on LinkedIn on 22 May 2025.